Me

You know what I'm not gonna talk about me in this post...
I'm just going to talk to you...
I'm..
attempting to remain on me but damn it's getting hard...
You know what?
This is difficult...
because...
because deep down inside i speak in rhyme...
yeah i know...
huh?
Say that again...
O yea well i just regurgitate thoughts whether their fragmented or not... i don't care...
I mean yea it's talent but really how many people you know that really understand a creative mind...
exactly...

So it traps me on a road of endless nothingness...

with none the less

me

who else

like the desert drying out from loneliness

Minute made monday's "Motivation"

Motivation anyone? if you got it can i borrow it?

Yeah you read correctly Mr. Jag has flat lined in the motivation category... not necessarily total motivation just a little... just enough to be stagnant which i despise... if any of y'all are anything like me i hate standing still... i never had a problem with sitting still as a kid as a matter of fact i didn't have very many kids to play with in my hood so i used to play by myself in the dirt in the middle of the hood until i got my first bike and shortly after started playing football.... but since I've been categorized and an adult(kid at heart) i think Ive acquired A.D.D. not in the sense that i have problems concentrating or listening but in the sense i don't like sitting still... I don't like monotony I like for things to change... I get bored easily... not in personally relationship because people are funny and emotions are interesting but just tasks mundane and frugal ones at that. Maybe i don't need motivation maybe i need counseling... either way it's time for change... Along with that i learned something about myself this weekend. I took a trip to the Eastern country side of Kentucky and i spent my weekend in the country... when i say country I'm mean the nearest Walmart is in a neighboring town... yeah exactly... but OK so i have this tendency to get cabin fever.. and cabin fever is an idiomatic term for a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in, for an extended period. Symptoms include restlessness, irritability, forgetfulness, laughter, and excessive sleeping. I feel like a caged animal when I'm shut in. Especially when both my phones had little to no service... i destroyed my brick break high score... i couldn't pick up any one's wireless service on my computer... no physical activities to do all the yard work was done... no gym... no means to release my energy... shew... you know what? I held it together... a year ago in that same environment i might have taped all the pillows in the house together and made a punching, kicking, wrestling, dummy to destroy... i would have paced the house till i rubbed holes in my socks...thought of some in genius invention and tried to make it with household items...pause... now the thing is i always write something creative in those environments but since I'm on a ten day creative relief i just have to store those things in the back of my mind until Friday then i might go hard for 30 days straight poems and stories...

OK SO... I need motivation right? What do you think?

5th element

Day 5 of all true stories, not ner creative piece i am convulsing over here i feel numb like Ive been watching CNN all day... actually i have... have you ever watched more than an hour of CNN and had a major attitude change... some of the things the people say on the panels and some of the host are just so biased that it's frustrating... I see why the elderly get Mean World Syndrome... watching that crap can make you think life is shitty...

i digress... So i change the channel and it falls on the 5Th element this exact scene...lol

I think I'm as fly as Rudy rap...what do you think?



yea me neither but hey... do you think this started "metrosexual -ism"? Cause he sure ain't gay but his walk is "runway ish"... "female like"... "lenox mall"(atl term)...

Sucessful mindset

So... I'm in a little rut right now mentally I'm bored and unsatisfied...and i need encouragement... i had to find something to change my train of thought and this is something i found in old notes from high school...

My Successful mindset

Physically( Playing sport/ working out)
Mentally (Developing the mind)
Spiritually(Getting to know God more each day)
Socially(Building relationships and developing lasting friends)
Financially( Being financially responsible)
Family(Love all of your family all of your life unconditionally)
they know that it is not the result of accident... or chance or good fortune... or fate, but is built day by day by day one page at a time.

As I develop a successful life, I will also learn how to gain mastery of myself and knowledge of how to handle obstacles that will arise all of my life between me and my efforts to reach goals. In my successful life, I learn each day... how to prevent or stop the development of negative emotions... How to control my thinking, attitude, and habits.

People who learn how to establish goals, with a disregard of obstacles, and set their sights on achieving them...SUCCEED!!

Whatever you vividly... ardently desire...sincerely believe... and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass.

Change you mind im changing mine

Minute maid Monday

I start this week hot shower...
hot steamed body...
fresh shave...
ready for the party(not)...
now fresh out of the shower with my feet firmly planted...
i gather my things but I'm still bared handed...
during my commute to work i wonder where i landed ....
of all the mysteries of this here planet...
Not the earth but JaG's Planet...
it may sound weird but one day you'll understand it...
I'm starting the Journeys of Jag today...
for two weeks nothing but true stories...
very candid...
let's see if i can stand it...

So historically on my blog i have written very few fact based post. I like to write about my dreams, my feelings, women, love, sex and i like to express them creatively. I've always thought it was harder to judge someones creative creativity because it normally comes from their heart or imagination. That may be the reason i write like i do...Well, I said that because once again i plan on changing the manner i write. i am going to attempt to write solid factual post for two whole weeks or 10 business days. This is will be a release session for me but i really would love solid feedback...

"We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart."(Blaise Pascal)

Wednesdays War-The gift and the Curse

So i have these problems but honestly i don't know if they're problems ... i think they're gifts but they seems to be curses... #1 See i have this innate ability to bring emotions in people out... example: One of my best friends in the whole world had never been able to speak her heart to anyone when she's frustrated about something no one would ever know, when she feels bad about something no one would never know when she doesn't like something or someone no one would ever know... and some how she manages to be the most cheerful, loving, easy going, person i know (lack of stress)... but not to long ago i asked why... and when i ask why i mean i ask WHY to the Nth degree... "Why cant you express yourself what makes speaking your heart so difficult...?" I haven't ever bitten my tongue for anyone, i don't beat around the bush, and i definitely don't lead people to believe one thing and it's really another.... I guess cause i despise fakeness and fake people. And at first she was like i don't know!!! i don't know!!! but i wouldn't let up SO she broke down being that I'm her best friend it wasn't hard for her to express herself to me. Now she's brand new (kind of bitchy) but hey she's keeping it real... (gift or curse)

#2 To me what you say means a lot... I'm a words person i understand words very well I'm a listener.. I'm attentive even when I'm not engaged I'm listening and watching interactions around me (people watcher)... example You say well jag I feel like this but you mean you feel like that and the way you said it is as if you mean it like this so i take it like this and not like that and you get mad... SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY... (gift or curse?)

I digress, as i said before i always ask why? Because to me there's a reason for everything...(gift or curse?)

Another problem i have is with Hypothetical questions and statements (IF questions)i tend to hypothetically answer them and it seems to make people upset. (if... if... was a fifth we'd all be drunk) exxxxample... planning a trip (scenario) IF I would have remembered then we could have went there...my response... "Well you didn't so what are we doing???" In that sentence I'm not being a smart ass I'm just saying we can only go with what is real not Hypothetical... (gift or curse?)

Do you think these are gifts or curses?
Or am i just an asshole

Know thyself

who i am

the exotic quiescence of earth

Brown skin, brown eyes, beautiful smile

athletic build strong enough to walk a green mile

the guy many moms would love daughters to walk the aisle

sense of humor, serious at times

works very hard to intrigue minds

somewhat understands the art of love

Life is part of all the above

struggles with trust but who doesn't

never claims to know it all

just a little about everything

communicates straight forward rarely around the bush

listens and pays attention you'll never hear hush

loves love and hates love at the same time

doesn't want to die alone

but it's inevitable

if he could be anyone

it would be Mr. Incredible

who am i

i am me

i am he

I am who i say i am

i know who i am

do you know me?

"KNOW THYSELF"

As the world turns

As the day moves into night and i begin to wind down from a long days work i drift into contemplation. Where do i go from here? What is the matter of my force? How do i continue? As i stare out the window watching the wind blow the trees. i realize time is flying by, i am far beyond the age i chose my destiny to meet me. (But is it really my choice?) i thought we had an agreement. Guess not. As my mind continues to drift further into dreamland the weather starts to change the once clear night clouds blow away and the heavy burdened clouds appear. A thunderous noise makes my heart skip a beat but i never lose sight of my favorite star. The polaris also known as the north star or north polar star for centuries sailors used this star as a guilding light today i use this star as motivation to reach for the moon. Even with the rain pouring down on my window i know that this star remains bright. The rain gets heavier at times and makes me want to move away from the window but i can't, im just so attracted to the stories of journey that have reached that star.

Memories

Thoughts dig deep like when i stood about two feet... u sat on the porch and smoked tweeds... i made mud pies to throw in the streets... i sat on the porch and played "bingo" aka "that's my car"we walked 5 blocks school didn't seem that far... 3 blocks in, you stopped at the bar so 2 blocks i ran...damn then you met him... and we moved in a few years later i had a little sister... he was a real hustle man with a junk trunk in the front and stash in the back over the attic where i stayed at... he had three stacks in a can in a hole in the yard... next to the old broken down brougham brown car... his friends used to come over all the time... knock on the side door and buy this thing he called the pine... nickels, dimes, and quarters he taught me my math...no certain order... then we moved from the west to lively and i had to ride a bus and highly... hated it!!! but when they said i couldn't read... yea, that's the way they stated it... i had to leave the honors school and go to public one Ha...the new school said i was to smart for my own good but i didn't fit with the geeks... so, I'm burning down the block and search the neighbor while you were gone to work...i ran the hood... Key around my neck, latched to my Jordan, or on my handle bars... one time i went to far and didn't have a car... i didn't get home till 11...a least i prayed to the heaven... cause i caught a flat... and this was way back...had to walk my bike it was dark... started to run cause some stupid dog barked... i got home spooked... it was just me... 7 came quick i got up for school... little did you know what i went through... but hey i made it and pride came through... yep I'm the man...who... me that's who... and then you met him...

"My heart, my life, my song"

Born 4/2/1980 to a little light skinned red haired lady
she was discharged about three days later

to a world that was misunderstood
like a lonely sheep left out to the wolves

she was to young to go out on her own
about two years later she was out on her own

GED in one hand JAG in the other
Now that's what you call a single black mother

Had to get a job just to feed my mouth
her 11 to 7 was a 12 round bout

but never alone cause GOD helps his own
with the master chaperon she raised a milestone

wash my own clothes wash my own dishes
played by myself may a lot of wishes

thank you Momma for bring the wild child out the jungle
now I'm warmed up ready to rumble this is my heart this is my life this is my song.

co2005.
JaG

A note from me to jag

TO whom it may concern:

O I'm so tired of all this bullshit.... his stupid ass codes and creative nonsense.... that shit is for the birds i don't wanna decipher it...it's a waste of time it's not even clever shit...it makes my head hurt and his poems don't make sense... he such an asshole i wish he'd just lose it... i wish he'd stop following me and just quit... commenting on my blogs and showing love and shit... it's like he's a bug just desperate... to get in my face until i shew it... but if he goes away who else will appreciate it... all the trials and tribulations and topics i hit... the things i go thru with this trying to be me but losing sight of it.... the real reason i do it is for the people to see... that their not alone they have me... in this world just make a wish reach for the stars and .... and be a comet shoot for the moon and... and play the trumpet... i still think he ass is dumb just nasty ass Ni&&@ always talking about sex like he plays the fiddle... i bet he ain't no good... i hope he ain't no good now I'm kind of sad... cause i said all this and i know it's gonna make him mad.... but he's a good guy,a real good dude you know what jag ...I'd hate you too