Wednesdays War-The gift and the Curse

So i have these problems but honestly i don't know if they're problems ... i think they're gifts but they seems to be curses... #1 See i have this innate ability to bring emotions in people out... example: One of my best friends in the whole world had never been able to speak her heart to anyone when she's frustrated about something no one would ever know, when she feels bad about something no one would never know when she doesn't like something or someone no one would ever know... and some how she manages to be the most cheerful, loving, easy going, person i know (lack of stress)... but not to long ago i asked why... and when i ask why i mean i ask WHY to the Nth degree... "Why cant you express yourself what makes speaking your heart so difficult...?" I haven't ever bitten my tongue for anyone, i don't beat around the bush, and i definitely don't lead people to believe one thing and it's really another.... I guess cause i despise fakeness and fake people. And at first she was like i don't know!!! i don't know!!! but i wouldn't let up SO she broke down being that I'm her best friend it wasn't hard for her to express herself to me. Now she's brand new (kind of bitchy) but hey she's keeping it real... (gift or curse)

#2 To me what you say means a lot... I'm a words person i understand words very well I'm a listener.. I'm attentive even when I'm not engaged I'm listening and watching interactions around me (people watcher)... example You say well jag I feel like this but you mean you feel like that and the way you said it is as if you mean it like this so i take it like this and not like that and you get mad... SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY... (gift or curse?)

I digress, as i said before i always ask why? Because to me there's a reason for everything...(gift or curse?)

Another problem i have is with Hypothetical questions and statements (IF questions)i tend to hypothetically answer them and it seems to make people upset. (if... if... was a fifth we'd all be drunk) exxxxample... planning a trip (scenario) IF I would have remembered then we could have went there...my response... "Well you didn't so what are we doing???" In that sentence I'm not being a smart ass I'm just saying we can only go with what is real not Hypothetical... (gift or curse?)

Do you think these are gifts or curses?
Or am i just an asshole

Have you ever?

Have you ever...

wondered what im like

Have you ever...

met me in real life

Have you ever...

thought i would be trife

Have you ever...

thought about me... how nice?

Have you ever....

thought about me after you took a shower

Have you ever...

wanted to lay with me longer than an hour

Have you ever...

envisioned me in the cut out of your future lover

Have you ever...

wonder what I'm like undercovers

Have you ever...

dreamed a dream so real that all details make you get chills

Have you ever...

wondered what i wonder

Have you ever...

wanted to touch

Have you ever....

wanted to f----

Well have you?

Forgettable

So i was in wally world(Walmart) yesterday I was of course picking up groceries and household items all at once... And I'm walking through the dairy aisle grabbed some milk for my cereal and shredded cheese for my baked potato that night.... and i saw this women that looked so familiar... she was at the other end of the aisle so i really couldn't tell if it was her or not but as we got closer i realized it was...(pay attention now)... The mom of my hairdresser (when i had hair) who claimed i was her baby's daddy (who still owes me money for the paternity test i took) but I'm not worried about it. eh!

And we walk right by each other like i could have kiss her on the cheek and kept walking that's how close. This is the same woman that wanted me to be her grand daughters father she literally said i love you and want you to be the father... wow i know. So we walk past each other and she doesn't say a word so i say Hey! very subtle to see if she notice and she looks up and stares at me for like 45 sec she squinting her eyes and everything.. then she says "I didn't know who you were"... OMG come on now i haven't changed since i was in third grade my head just grew into my ears and my body developed nicely...

I said that to say this
Do you think your FORGETTABLE?
because i didn't think i was until yesterday.
I actually still don't think I'm forgettable i might be replaceable but not forgettable.

My opinions

On my blog i attempt to go outside the normal for a blogger. I try not to use my forethought to talk to you. I use creative expression and sometimes just speak the unverbalized jiberish that comes to mind... it's really not for everyone and i understand that not alot of people like just creative thinking But I find myself brainstorming of ways to make you think or evoke some sort of emotions. With that said let me begin again.
As you and i collide at the mind...by that i mean you reading my writingsi sense a deeper connection it's the lost form of communication it's the most subtle love making ever my conscious in your brain it's amazing to me it's so amazing that we rarely acknowledge it. When i read your blog i often think "i feel that" or "it's so true" or "Damn" i'm immedately inspired to create...And this is it this is our moment this is our chance to once again dance... Will you dance? Two step superman Then booty do And lean wit it Switch to the other side And rock wit it Then pop lock and drop Then stop... And do the body rock.
In my mind we just danced Women, men, boys, and girls all across the world Can you see what i see? Did you feel what i felt?I wonder as my conscious speaks in your brain do you think the same?

My opinion

You do.

People are so sometimey!!!

People are so sometimey... sometimes they wanna be your friend sometime they don't sometimes they wanna talk sometimes they don't i dont get it... i guess because i have such a keen sense to fakeness i can see through the mask of most people. but sometimes i get fooled too(rare but it happens) some individuals seem so genuine that it's hard to see them any other way... and then they flip kinda like that Jay-Z song "it was all good just a week ago" i just assume not make new friends or even associates for that matter. I dont like shade tree type people... i makes me wonder am i shady or sometimey because i attract some of the shadiest people aside from my bestfriends it seems like no ones real anymore. Am i wrong for thinking that? Are there still real straight to the point no thumb chasing people out there? No for real are you real or are you sometimey?

Who can you Trust?

First lets define this word trust-
1 a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b: one in which confidence is placed
Then we have trustworthiness-
trustworthiness5 a (1): a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2): something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another

I have a perfect understanding of both definitions but i somehow struggle to trust anyone, yes i am admitting to having major trust issues... and honestly i dont really know who to blame it on i could blame it on myself...No!! i have not always been a saint but i cant think of anyone who has been. I could blame it on others... but that would be the easy cop out.. "i was done so wrong blah blah blah" i dont know of anyone who hasn't been.

Trust as you see is made up of five parts character, ability, strength, truth, and confidence.
Ahhh theres the rub... see people are the weakest when it comes to strength and character... cause you can pretty much bs the other three.. O I'm this and im that i did this and i did that... which could possible show ability, truth, and confidence but what did you go through an how much tolerance-(the capacity to endure hardship and pain) do you have and what did you lose or gain? Now... i could be wrong i could just be crazy but not many people can say that their strong enough to bare there own crosses that's why karma-lita is such a bitch cause not many people can admitt their wrong doings and be open, honest, and truthful about it.
IF I CLOSED MY EYES AND FELL BACK RIGHT NOW HOW MANY OF YALL WOULD CATCH ME IF YOU COULD?
Now tell me who can you trust?

I dunno what the hell im talking about just ranting and raving thanks for reading.