With that said...

With that said... I'll say it again

from beginning till the end

from sunrise to sunset

i hope yawl understand,

comprehend

better yet i hope it sinks in

cause even with my band and i

there's no sky high enough to fly and sing

the songs that just float through the mist we call clouds things

the air that we breath

to provoke emotion deeper that the ocean

what you'll prolly just do is stare

subconsciously ponder how rare

i claim

i am

how dare yawl

not trying to know me or show me yawl care

with that said I'll say it twice

there seems to be nothing that comes from being, right?

good is fine but do they appreciate the thoughts that come to mind

no prolly not

now we'll prolly be shot

far from yes right in that spot

the left ventricle

or better than the cerebellum...

the mind touches heart and heart touches soul...

train the mind to go and go and go far beyond this atmosphere

did i make myself clear

as the sky in a babies eyes...

simple yet complex...

um ah yes!

it really matters not cause these are just thoughts...

aren't meant to be bought

just read,

understood in your own right

defined and dually notified...

Make your mind dance in the front

not race from behind

And with that said I'll say it again!!!

Thoughts of a peaceful mind

RARE!!!

Okay... Normally

Okay,
Normally when i begin a post it starts as nothing and turn into this array of words meaning a lot, sometimes coming out as gibberish. i often wonder do my followers/readers really understand what I'm talking about because in my mind it sounds/reads so profound and seems so simple to logically put the metaphors and similes together that i keep writing, or when i write in poem style do my readers realize that i was not meaning to rhyme or to be poetic it just came out that way. When I'm in the mist of a storm in my mind the things that come out aren't whole sentences... their always fragments that make no sense at all. Like in the newspaper by the comics they have the word jumble, sudoku, and crossword puzzles, my thoughts are a mix of all four (that includes the comics). Is it weird for me to read my thoughts and hate every word of it cause i don't think their gonna get it? Is it weird for me to read my thought and think i know what I'm talking about but will they? How do i clarify the mystery's of my mind without losing my creativeness? I've never wanted to be like anyone but me. I have always been a very visual person and can visualize the greatest and the worst things but what if i didn't have that would i be dull. I don't intend on changing but i do often wonder if i were to start writing as i thought would a book i wrote be bought... how many times does a peace of mind talk? Never cause it wouldn't be peaceful if it talked. i won't apologise for my sudoku like codes and crossword like poems and jumbled up words that make more sense to me. i wont apologise for my half true stories that sometimes are more than half true and sometimes not true at all... I wont apologise for following you...i will ask... Would you answer a question if i asked?

Questions

if i asked you a question would you answer it or would you ask me a question to clarify, if i asked you a question would you answer it or would you ask me a question to justify, if i asked you a question would you answer it or would you ask me a question to reply.



answer me!!!

Love me or love like me..

I'm telling everyone who reads my blog,

to love me or love like me...
You love me...

you love me not...

not just an experiment...

it's a plot...

to create an atomosphere...

the perfect chemistry...

maybe it will just happen through our energy
la men...

la women ...

the profound introduction
Love me or love like me..
isn't it me?

or is it she who claims to be the believer of fate and dreams to be...

A collection of thoughts from 4th grade till you're gone...

like buzzlight year to"infinity and beyond"
Love me or love like me and be second best...

for everyone knows who'll stand the test and passes with flying colors...

you know who...

me that's who...
Love me or love like me...

Nobody notices what i do till i no longer do it for you...
love me or love like me
Do you..?

Is it you?

LOOK!!!
I told the masses before I Am Not Perfect!
I make mistakes everyone does
I guess Im not that guy you thought I was
Were back to the beginning
Back to the beginning of the end
We all know Im defensive but thats not a sin
I am constantly fighting a battle I can not win
But then again
Nope
I will not win
But
She knows I care
She knows the truth
Matter of fact she knows who she is
She knows who
Automatically she thinks
Is he talk bout me
Yep
Im talking to you
About you
For you
if your not she
then you'll know
SEE!!!



it's YOU.

i think you should read this... part II

… So before I continue, I have to bring you up to speed. She threw me on the couch a preceded to… uh, well use your imagination. I pulled her up from her position and whispered in her ear "how do you feel right now?" She shivered and said pull my hair and "I'll tell you." "Ok" I replied. (HOLD ON… What did she just say to me?) I think I spoke to soon the other day when I said I was going to be rough this time. She immediately got up, flicked off all the lights, took off (what would in a normal situation be) my t-shirt and started to messing with the Jacuzzi. I wonder what she has planned.... shhhh let's see. She's bent over with nothing but a pair of red lace boy shorts that accents one of her many assets, pouring bubbles in the Jacuzzi. The candles are already lit. The mood is right, Yep she's gonna jump me. I think she can feel my presents….

… I could feel her temperature rising as our bodies slightly touch while we kissed in the Jacuzzi… If the walls could talk… what would they say? I think they would say, Yes… yes… right there Ummm…don't stop, please don't stop….to be continued

I think you should read this...

She came storming into the room screaming and yelling about something; something I have no Ideal what…but it's something shhhhh… let's pay attention maybe we can figure out… YOU MAKE ME SICK, YOU GET ON MY NERVES, I HATE YOU… ok lets tune the rest of this conversation out she's crazy if she thinks I'm gonna pay attention to her snapping at me. But look at her aw! Isn't she so cute when she's mad, "Are you listening to me, she yells. "Yes babe", I replied with no hesitation. "Well!" she paused. As if I was suppose to respond. Let's see the best obvious thing to say is. Umm… you're right babe. I need you to come here real quick though… What! She said with a little head wiggle. Wow, the closer she gets the sexier she looks with that little angry face of hers. Of course it's Sunday night, I'm watching football and she interrupted that but as she walks her sexy mean ass over her I get that horny chill. Yup, my minds made up I'ma jump her. Let's asses the situation she has approximately 4 articles of clothing. That's two and a half minutes if time is used wisely. Shhh she's here. "Babe, look at me I don't understand"… Don't say anything else I said as I put my finger up to her lips. But… shhhh i say as I kiss her. This isn't a normal kiss ya'll it's one of those passionate never-ending, unforgettable kisses. I could feel her guard go down and her body begin to relax in my arms. The kissing gets more passionate and deep, it feels like we're starting to fly we're losing sense of reality our bodies start to join and become one beautiful motion. I lightly slide my hands in the elastic of her skirt to get it to fall. It falls perfectly around her ankles. She looks down and steps out of the polyester ring closer to me by this time I was standing two ways up and out, my old college jogging pants felt like a pair of biker shorts. I can feel the warmth coming off her half-naked body as I lift her shirt with one hand and unbuckle her bra with the other. She slides my pants down knowing im not wearing any draws and starts caressing with her hands at first then she kiss my neck and pushes me back on the couch…. Too be continued.

Another day for a code 2 n 1

This one is good...
23 9 20 8... 7 18 1 3 5...9... 16 12 1 3 5... 13 25...5 12 5 7 1 14 3 5...15 14...20 8 9 19...19 16 13 5... 23 9 20 8...3 15 14 22 9 3 20 9 15 14... 9... 23 1 14 20... 25 15 21... 20 15 ... 6 9 7 21 18 5... 13 5...15 21 20...23 9 20 8... 8 15 14 15 18...25 15 21... 4 9 19 3 12 15 19 5... 20 8 5... 20 18 21 20 8...

Honestly it is...A1

Dreaming the Conclusion

Fuck it i know but i cant help fuck it is the only phrase that fits logically...
i have to suck it up...
i must not mess this up...
but what if she...
never mind the extra...
i think this could be...
well how can that...
you know what...
i cant keep...
it's making me...
but what if she doesn't...
then I'll be..
Well shit damn it to hell... fuck it this is it...
I fell in love with "she"...
it didn't work out because of me...
my stipulation were far to deep...
and that was the end of we...
dream ended.

Dreaming Part3

Well Hell yes is said well hell theres no other way to express

What happen...

nothin...

she just...

she was so...

i did it...

but she wasnt...

and we werent...

so i didnt expect to...

but it was so much fun...

now she wont talk to me...

but its not like it was...

but it was the...

even she said...

so maybe im...

but what if..

i cant..

Na...

Scene setting - part 2 of 4

The sound of the a/c has stopped
As I sink deeper into the cushions of the couch...

... I kind of doze off on the couch before my phone rings and jolts me out of my sleep "hu...hu... hello", i say as i wipe the drool from my mouth. "Yes, um mm my a/c unit just went off and i don't know what happen i can't get it to come back on" the sweet voice on the other line said. "Do you think you can come over and fix this for me?","Of course i can", i replied. So i got her address and the numbers off the unit before we got off the phone so i know exactly what tools to bring. I zip my Dickie coveralls back up grabbed my tools out of the shed and hop in the truck. Luckily, she only lived like fifteen minutes away so i got to her house in about 10 minutes. As I weave through traffic like Mario Andretti my memory strikes me... O my God this is Ms. Clark's house. Ms. Clark's is a successful, single, sexy, lawyer or as my buddies call her 3S.L. As i arrive at the house i make it a point to make sure i look presentable. Freshly shaved head... check.... clean breath... check... fresh underarms.... check... Aqua de gio fragrance... check... I ring the doorbell and i heard a voice behind the door say"One moment please" five seconds later i hear click-clack it sounded like a double lock unlatching, the door came open and there she stood...
(to be continued... jill)

Dreaming remix

Damn it yea i started this off with damn it cause theres not a better phrase to sum up how i feel... maybe i should have never said that... damn it... but maybe if i didnt it would have went another way...damn it... maybe i should have never approached it like that... damn it... what if that's not what really was meant... damn it... How the hell was i suppose to know... damn it... i wasnt lyin it just appear to look like it ... damn it... but...but...

she was the perfect "oxymoron"

that's why i want "She"....

if you have not read my post "She" go back and read it then read dreaming...

Dreaming

Shit... Yes, im starting this off with shit theres not a more appropriate word that fits in this line... i must be dreaming to think that... to even have the gumption to think that... to dare to have my heart set on that... to say i would want that... why why why am i so convinced that; that is what i want... maybe because it's sleak and sporty, simple but complex, beautiful and ugly, classy and grimey, the ultimate oxymoron... what could that be... maybe just maybe thats what i need... but really what is it?

By Chance...

From across the room i notice her, she was approximately 5'5 and if i had to guess 1/2 inches tall. Light brown skin kind of honey complected, her hair was sort of short about to her chin. I couldn't really get a good look at her because the lights started to flicker faster.. (song change) So, of course to get a closer look i had to swoop across the room through everybody moving. As I smoothly move through the crowd i notice her looking at me, we caught eyes and it felt like she was luring me to her. Then i blinked and i was to the bar, the bartender was dancing flipping bottles exciting the crowd with his shot glass tricks. I turned to look up at the DJ to see if she noticed that i was in the building and of course she did she pointed to me as she grooved. "BIG shout out the my man --- in the building!!!" I raised my hands and blew her a kiss. I as i turned back to the bar i notice the young lady was closer. "Good not far to go after i get my drink i thought to myself." What would you like sir? Let me get a Shot of Patron and a Ciroc on the rocks. As i took my shot i realized she had moved and was no longer that close to me but its alright i have a surprise... so i cruise over to the DJ booth. "Hey DJ will you play my song" i say with a chuckle, "Of course i will ---," she replied. Muah.. kiss the DJ on her cheek and i begin to make my way to the Mystery woman! Gracefully i made my way back through the crowd this time straight to her we caught eyes once more this time interrupted by the DJ "This song goes out to all you lovely ladies out there from---!!!" As my song began to come on. Check... breath... speak to her " hey how you doing I'm---".. "I already know!"... "How you know me?" ... "I know everything about you"... "O really?"... "I heard it through the grapevine that you can do my body damn fine and i really want to get to know you"... "WOO!"

SHE

She- the female species
In general she is an amazing creature.
Beautiful- is her real name.
Created by nature, built to match my solid force human and soul...
Sewn to....
aah...
Yes fit right on my chest, beneath the pit of my arm...
Curvy and sleek...
Emotional but meek...
Difficultly easy but never weak
my match, my fire, my heart no leaks...
She... she...
she is perfect for me but where do i go from here to find thee...
one by the name of beauty.

Crash and burn

Crash and Burn
what really does your heart yurn?
is it love or is it lust?
is it truth or is it lies?
to be or not to be?
Seeking hardcore or softfloor?
who truely can you trust?
whats real and whats fake?
No deal No cake?
Drain the lake and find the snake
Crash and mutha fucking burn!!!

Eventful weekend

So i was a spectator at the Kentucky Horsemen game this weekend... The Kentucky Horsemen is the arena 2 football team here in Lexington Kentucky, Arena football for yawl who don't know is football played inside an arena on a 50 yard field with walls around it. It's action packed and lots of fun for spectators because all the seats are great, balls come in the stands, and there is no weather interference that you get at normal outdoor football games. It's also very family friendly, after the games the kids get to come down on the field to get autographs and actually talk to the players and cheerleaders. If you have an arena football team in your area i suggest you check out at least one game it's very entertaining.

Anyway, so I'm on the team but i got hurt during training camp and i was kind of jealous i didn't get to play but i did have the best seat in the house and still got to interact with my fellow teammates. It's weird answering the question why aren't you playing and hearing little kids say we need you out there and when are you gonna play again your my favorite. It just crushes my heart but I've made a tremendous come back from my injury so i should be back soon.. O yeah with the help of Haley who is a fellow blogger and Erica our head trainer i was back within three weeks of camp now it's all about getting my groove back and being smooth again. A leg injury is the worst.

OK so after my team beat some ass we had an after party at this local club called the blue moon and it was official... This club is a fairly nice upscale club and it's known for having a mixed but large crowd and asshole bouncers who hold the door shut even if the club is empty... but for some reason this night it was jumping on the inside and outside... the line was down the block good thing we had VIP cause i would not have waited. I go to the VIP door and expect them to say hold we gotta check the list and blah blah blah.... but it was a pleasant surprise to see him say "OK I'll here's Ur band and I'll show you where yawl are sitting Mr. sanders" i was thinking "OK OK big willy style" O and plus our VIP section was perfect right in the middle of the club it's couldn't be any better it was roped off and only people with wristbands could get in the section... now I've been in VIP several times but not in the middle of the club... it's always way in the back or off to the side or (even in the glass case like a fish) <-i actually like that one... ha ha.. my weekend was very eventful and I'm gonna stop right there cause I'm starting to babble.

Somethings happened to me

Yea.... i said somethings happened to me i lost something and i don't know what it is.. maybe it's my sensitive nice guy, chiverish momma taught me right, and I'm going to treat her right even if she don't give a damn about my feelings and my great understand of words and their meanings and how much i take to heart..,WELL!!!

Yep now that i say it in mybrain as i type i realize that's exactly what i lost i just don't give a damn anymore... and it's like a good man is unappreciated... i mean don't get me wrong everybody got their hang ups and no one is perfect but i sure as hell know how to treat a woman, mentally, physically, emotionally, now my best friend would tell me that;that's where i go wrong think i know women.. but see what I'm trying to say is i don't know them but i know how i want THINGS ... and how i feel when i get it so i can only reciprocate what i want and get but i get my love language is flawed...

plus i think i need a reality TV show like FOR THE LOVE OF JAG!! So i can invite 30 flawed crazy ass beautiful women to win my heart in 6 weeks.... Yea right!!! Na not me i would never get that lucky... I'd let them do a pre-show like this is the before... this is the after... this is the show... like i said before something has happened to me when i can reason with having a reality TV show and not think twice... woo i think because i turned 29 not to long ago that Ive surpassed my relationship prime and dating is soon to be out of the question... well needless to say I'm not an asshole i finally figured that out but i do have good sex, and the potential marriage type... but if this is true what the hell is stopping YOU!!!!

who am i

Truthfully
I am not who you think i am
I am not who you say i am
am i ?
I am what I say i am I am ?
I am the cause to a lot of pain
i am the one who changed the game
i am not the one to fall out for
i am that guy that bitter BITCHES talk about
i am the one to take you higher
i am a liar
i am stupid
i am
i am the one you love to love
i am the one you love to hate
i am the one you'd love to date
i am what i am
i am NOT SORRY
because I'll do it again
PERIOD

Paint a picture

Sitting in the middle of an empty room... the only light was that from a candle in the corner. Sitting in this chair anticipating the things that were going to happen. Who knew she and i would connect so deeply she was so far away yet so close and i was so infatuated that i didn't think I'd get anywhere close...I take a deep breath as we merge into one she felt good, we felt right, nothing could ruin this moment for me. It was perfect music as i hit the keys and she sang sweet melodic chords in my ear. We dance this dance for what seemed like years i look up into her beautiful face only to see love struck tears. With the lost of fear and lots of walls she began to understand what it means to be stuck in a room with nothing but room for dreams and blank canvas walls.

Create a Dream...

Early this Sunday morning there was a loud knock at the door

as i go to open the door it swings open

and the sunlight from outside shines right in...

I attempt to cover my eyes to shade the light but i didn't work as i begin

to walk towards the door a woman's silhouette appears in the doorway...

Hey

I yell.

Who is that?

i ask inquisitively still shielding my face from the light....

At this point I'm getting a little freaked out cause something aint right..

there i was screaming at someone and they weren't answering me....

it was just this woman standing in my doorway why

why was this scaring me

i so freaked out..... As i get closer to the doorway a woman's voice says hey jag remember me!!! WHAT!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! AND GO HOME.

i screamed as i reached for the door...

i missed the knob and began a free fall...

it seemed as if i would never land at all

and then the truth set in

it's not to be

it never was

I'll never love again...

i cant pretend

that ill love again

but crushed i'll forever be

interesting study i read on another blog called"Love Psychology"

preface: this comes from thekimberly.blogspot.com

So today in Psychology we were studying "Love Psychology" and we learned a lot that I thought would be interesting to you all.Okay. So the first thing we studied was that there are two different types and phases of love:
a) "Passionate Love"
b) "Compassionate Love"The Passionate type of love usually lasts between 6-30 months. During this "passionate" stage intense emotions take place. The couple is usually the most "in love" and the feeling is very strong.The next type of love is Compassionate. This type of love can be present during the beginning of a relationship but in order for a relationship to last Compassionate Love must be present even after the Passionate phase ends. It is very important to realize, understand, and accept the fact that the passionate phase of love WILL COME TO AN END. It is important that you keep the love going by exploring other aspects of a relationship in terms of "living together as a team". Characteristics of "Compassionate love" include being caring and supportive. Other characteristics are being able to trust, communicate, tolerate each other, and share with each other.In order to have a successful long-term relationship a couple must be able to get along, be comfortable, and be relaxed around and with each other.The keys to achieving success in this the couple must:(1) Relax -- Reduce the tension by being positive.(2) Not Fight about Everything -- If you're going to argue about the dishes, keep the argument strictly on the dishes. We as human beings have a tendency to drift the argument to other subjects. Sample Dialogue:Female: You left dishes in the sink again.Male: I was going to wash them when I woke up from my nap, I had a long day.Female: You always have long days. I'm always lonely at home. You're never home. You're never here for me.Male: That's because you don't give me a reason to want to be here for you.Note: Studies show it is also not a good idea to argue when you or the other person is hungry, heh. This can lead to a bigger argument since that person will already be agitated and already irritated.(3) Not Talk about Everything -- Keep some things to yourself. Not everything has to be said. Sample Dialogue:Female: So, how was your day at work today hunny?Male: My day went well. The secretary was flirting with me again. But other than that my day was wonderful.Obviously you can see that this would lead to more problems.(4) Hold on Loosely -- Remember that everyone needs space. It's as simple as that.(5) Not to fully let go of the Money -- Whoever controls the money tends to control the relationship. It's important to make sure the money is managed properly and that you are familiar about where it is going. Over 60% of divorces end because of financial issues.I'm not into the whole love thing at the moment, but it's good for future references.Later Readers,Kimberly M.