Code

ayoubca bknowdc dewhofe fgyouhg hiareji jkIlk lmcantnm nowaitpo pqtillrq rsits tusayuv wix xylovez wzyouy...

every group of letters contains a word separate the real from the fake and tell me what you think...

The Quiet Storm

The eve before the black out, I sat out in the all black 1968 Lincoln continental waiting for her ass to give me the signal. “Had the job been done?” I thought to myself. The night’s atmosphere was loud and busy lots of small things going on dogs barking sirens everywhere. As I rolled my blunt with the best purple haze my heart fell cold I immediately knew the job was done. The light from my lighter lit the whole car in the darkness. I took one long pull and felt my conscience disappear the dark smoke cloud began to seep out the crack in the window of the car. I look down at the time on my old army watch 0500 it stood still. She slowly paced he long slender legs back to my car.
Its done daddy she said with a confidence that couldn’t be replaced. “Good” I replied as I reached in the glove box and got the brown paper-bag out. “Here for being a good girl”, “thank you daddy,” she replied. As her tall fine ass walked away I watched her ass bounce a little with every step. As she faded into the darkness I got out of the car of course I had to make sure the job was done I don’t trust no one I learned that from my five years in federal. As I walked up to the shit whole of a living arrangement I realized my heart normally full of revenge is empty. The sense of clarity was there. The raggedy door nearly fell of the hinges as I pulled it. The stench of piss and old garbage blew passed my face as I walked through the hallway. The numbers on the door 603 had a rust shadow behind them. The door was slightly opened so no forced entry or key was needed as I pushed the door closed I realized that the outside of the complex says nothing to how the residents are living with in the confines of their homes. The hardwood floors made my walk sort of loud considering I did have on a new freshly shined pair of dull tipped Stacey Adam boots. My surgical gloves fit perfectly no rubber residue, no fingerprints.

HER

i know i met my prototype... but could this be the love of my life... we size up perfectly... i have an idea of what she thinks of me but... "i dont wanna to be cheesy" but damn isn't she lovely, isn't she pretty...doesnt she want me...hopefully...

Ok well.. so do you and your halo may wanna come closer... cause as im writing this blog not a flaw comes to mind and THAT never happens.... especially with my mind... as the thoughts roll through my head and Kemistry's Love calls comes on in my mental radio station and it says there's no where to hide when love calls... take me away with your kiss... to many words have been spoken... and there are things that will never be broken... i see the way she looks at me as if to say it's arrived... somethings happening me the man i am wants her to walk with me to heaven... when we hugged i felt her heart beat... thump thump tha thump tha tha thump tha tha tha tha that thump was me knock at the door of her heart and when she lets me in i will dead lock the valve and not come out... close your eyes open your heart and let love come inside... i see why I... made that drive.

Just my thoughts

Hey today's blog is just a collection of thoughts... i have a lot on my mind and i just want to vent and or release a little today.... OK first off i would like to thank all who read my blogs regularly... i would also like to encourage you to tell a friend to read my blogs i just like feed back and communication. Ok on another note i have been watching a lot of reality TV i think i have the most DVR'd TV on the planet... I'm really hooked to a few shows the first being "for the love of Ray J" i think this show is weirdly good it just seems to me that even after all the other vh1 for the love shows he come with a different swag and and array of women... My next show of choice is for the love of money... of course any game show consisting of attractive people plotting and scheming on each other to win money is interesting.... the third show is The Mentalist it's a csi type show with a guy who is a master of people reading and that amazing trait helps him and his crew solve homicide cases. And lastly I'm hooked to American Idol this year i have been intrigued by the whole show usually it's a mixture of the confusedly talented people and the really talent this year i really like Danny Gokey and his best friend Jamar but Jamar got kicked off in the last week of Hollywood man was i sick .... anyway those are the shows i have been hooked to along with the tool academy but OK that's enough this is just my thoughts....

Justify my LOVE

Let me tell you about this situation that might have you pacing racing home to the lady...
got home to the lady... no response to "hey baby"What the fuck is going on... this is more than my home... it's the place i rest my head slow pace to the bed... my house is so dead no one in sight.... no insight... On the counter a Dear JaG letter.. "YOU CAN DO BETTER" was the header
I'm at work making the cheddar she's at home writing bullshit letters...
Hold on it gets better... this is what is said... I know you've never done me bad...
i love you for that... but i met someone new and please don't call me a hoe....This is not about you... it's about me..surely knew i wasn't happy...
OK.... so what did i do? I kind of had an ideal where she went.... So i hopped in the ride and over there i went...
knock knock knock
so she comes out and so does he... ain't this a bitch!!! anyway as she walks by i have to say... Stop look at me I'm so sincere... I ain't playing no games let's get this clear... this is about our life our future our time... Don't walk away I'm talking do you mind...? It's been on my mind for a while now i need ya... sit down... stop being childish shit... this is ridiculous shit... why ain't you listening... I need you in my life but the way you make me feel right now is way out of character even for you...you gotta admit it's true... what the hell did he do...You were tripping... well maybe me too... let's sit down and talk take a mental walk... vrooom she drove off... now im about to really go off!!!

Your voice!!!

It's amazing i can hear your voice but never heard your voice

it's like your mind is So full that you leak into mine

please don't mind me for ease dropping

i hear you...i know your wishes...

i see what you want you should be my misses

perfect but i wish this wishlist

touches you deeper than your conscious on an indifferent decision

i need you to understand what i'm feeling

it's like holding your breath...

hoping for wealth

i want more money... but i need someone funny

who can talk intelligently, listen meticulously, and still be intriguingly sexy

for me and only me cause

i don't share well

I'm selfish as well

Can i go dream about you and your voice?

I'm sure your horse from screaming at me

In mine mind to be or not to be

we touch dreaming art

easily.

Tolerance:

Tolerance -is the capacity to endure hardship and pain...
We hear all the time..."What don't kill you makes you stronger" ...Well my best friend just lost his younger brother to a severe illness that he has been fighting with for quite some time now and i feel like what he went through i dont think anyone would have made it through it was tough just knowing that such a great guy was sick but after he got sick his spirit never changed he was still the witty, intellegent, always laughing, good spirited person i knew from back in the day...
When i saw him last it was his birthday 12/2/08 he was happy very appreciative and kind to everyone. He extended his thanks and said a few jokes...that was just the kind of person he was even though he struggled to speak because of the oxygen tank he lugged around he still seemed independent... He still had depth in his conversation about the economy, the new president and life in general... with a slight comedic twist he captivated many hearts just being himself...
that's the tragic beauty of life most of us none sick good health humans have not clue what tolerance is... Tolerance is the capacity to endure hardship and pain... Ooooh those words mean so much more when you know why...

R.I.P. Ali Omar 12/2/81 -2/15/09
You will forever be missed and loved!!!

I am

This is not me this is I...
I...I am a heart breaker it's a habit i cant get rid of ...
i love them and leave them...
kiss them make them cry and i don't know why
but...I am never satisfied or never enough
but...I am doing all i can to win this gun fight
but ...I am the shooter bla bla ouch! So many doubt
but..I think they want me to surrender... I'm shot
but... I gotta live by all means necessary MAKE MY WAY...
thru this mind maze by the end of the night...
make Me say Goodness Gracious...
Things ain't always what they seem or cracked up to be!
I'm not that guy but... He is... stay with him, I love you
but... he'd love to love you more...i know...
he told me so...
My resume is full of hard falls and lone walks
but... his is full of triumph and success...
this ones for me to him about I...

It's complicated

WhY make it so complicated
i just wish i would have never ate it
you can't get over that if you say you hate it
well hold your breath cause i think we made it....

I've come to realize happiness is not about ME... POINT MADE!!!
but my relationship road as you've all prolly read in my previous to blogs has been a bumpy rollercoaster not smooth at all no matter how soft my leather was the engine still ended up burning out.
My real reason for writing is i need to release my sickness... i am a nice guy(contrary to popular belief) but i have hood tendencies... I groomed myself that way to eliminate the pain i had the first time i was hurt from happening again. My good guy makes women love me and fall in love with me but my bad boy wants to take advantage of that...(sidebar)like in most cartoon like movies i have the angel and devils advocate on my shoulders... so picture the lil guy dressed in white and a lil guy dressed in red on my shoulders... Angel" she a good girl do right by her" Dadvocate f**** that she's wants to much it's about you"
...Anyway back to reality, Women have two men at all times, i once heard a wise women say, "the one that shes in love with and the one that loves her or takes care of her." For most of her life it's her dad( if he's present) and the man of her dreams at the time (day to day)
But guys on the other hand dont have a standard too... i like to call this Polywomenistic- meaning there are a lot of women who effect the lives of a man. wheither its his first grade teacher or his auntie telling him women are bad influences or his moms saying dont go sticking ya thing into anything with two legs.
You See by the time guys get into girl theres a mix perception so figuring out how to act towards women is hard( even if you had full family) cause women are complicated (period WITH A PERIOD)... any debate takers?

REcess

Time after time... after the last time
I knew i was done
I promised my world once again to someone
I made an adjustment not to fly the coupe
I learned my lesson long time ago
but in the mist of learning i took recess
my recess then has now made me look like Ive digressed
pathetic is how i look...
wow...
no matter how long ago i closed that book
i cant forget what my recess took.

broken hearted

Some things come and some things go
doors open and the wind blows
pushing you along into the world
next to the sun the heart curls
holding on tight with all your might
but it pulls away and makes it’s own way
down the hill and into the valley
the grass is not that green in that alley
but the soil is rich
with vitamins, knowledge, and gear to climb out the ditch
"I have to pay attention, count my blessings and learn my lessons..."
through time, growth, and prayer alone the pain subsides and
the beginning ends....

The Morning AFTER!!!

It was a cold winter morning and she stood in the window watching the flakes slowly cover what once was a perfect yard and matching driveway. As the crackling of the fireplace separates the silence from her thoughts she begins to daydream about the events of the night before. When he came to visit she was in the house just watching TV. Her show just went to commercial and she was going to her snack out of the refrigerator strawberries and whipped cream. She grabbed the basket of strawberries and went to reach for the whipped cream just as soon as she touched the container she felt a slap on her ass she turned so fast she almost dropped the basket of strawberries. When she turned no one was there. Boy stop!! Come in here, give me a kiss! He yelled back, “No, you come greet me at the door.” Ok, she replied as she grabbed the whipped cream and shut the refrigerator door. As she goes around the corner she doesn’t see him anywhere she looked out the front door, in the kids’ room and in the dining area…. He finally come out from behind the door and grabs her from behind and embraces her with a sensitive kiss on the neck. “Boy do not play with me like that you almost got beat up.” she says as she turns to face him. He grabs her hand and turns her again as if they were on a ballroom dance floor she spins, as she complete her second revolution he kisses her no intentions just a simple kiss to let her know he cares and he’s there for her… after the kiss they shared strawberries and she woke up cuddled up with her pillow… The morning AFTER... what's next people?

Creativity

As light from the moon illuminates our bodies

the hottie from the party

says she wants to act naughty

the circumstance rowdy

my mind is getting cloudy

her body's talking loudly

squeeze, please,

touch,

tease...

ease into it with a warm imbrace

in front of the fireplace

hold on is that...

satin lace?

O no my weakness

right at the peakness

of my strength's kiss

wish me well

with a one night spell

from lust to touch

that's just to much

hush...

over the room

as the bed goes boom

the moans sound

please...

Ok all my code crackers let me see you crack that one? should be easy!!!
crack the code and respond in poetic form let's see.

Heartlessness: Mind matters

Try me if you want to...

No No sweetheart it ain't about what I'm gonna do

it's about that tough talk and all that bullshit you going through...

OK I'm the nicest guy you'll ever never meet and if you have met me you know... to know me is to love me and if you don't love me you got a major character flaw... Na just kidding... actually no I'm not but anyway everyone who is close to me knows I'm a nice guy raised in the south(well not quite the south Midwestern south like Kentucky shit but below the Mason Dixon line)... so i know what shivery is and i open doors pay for dinner yes ma'am no ma'am yes sir no sir, please and thank you all the time with my country ass accent and lovely smile it's charming and makes everyone comfortable i can get along with pretty much anyone i can converse with anyone...FYI(that is the correct term for conversation not conversate sorry a pet pev of mine when people say conversate and it's not actual and recognized word even bling is recognized but anyway)... I'm a man not a boy not a kid i know my boundaries i know myself and i am comfortable with me... but let's get really into why I'm saying this...

We all have flaws first let me say that but am i wrong for not putting up with flaws? My mother says I'm crazy for not being able to sustain a relationship... i just say I'm picky mom proceed to spat off reasons it didn't work... I love women every element... from the softness of their skin to their emotionality... OK on the real I'm an asshole but I'm an asshole with reason i haven't being the man that i am today all my life... of course not I went thru my Coming to America stage when i wanted to "sow my royal oats" but I've always felt like wanted a girlfriend all in high school and college, while i did that... no i didn't technically (keyword: women would say) cheat but i have been in the Grey Area dundundun!!!( working on a relationship, talking to, or semi-exclusive) and started talking to other women does that make me a cheater? Even though I've grown out of that my mom used to say once a cheater always a cheater is that really a cheater though i feel like my definition is justified because my dad was a cheater he was married and got my mom pregnant at a young age now that is a cheater(T.M.I.)...and i know guyS who are married that have no remorse have sex with other women... OK i only ask because as i stated above I'm a gentlemen with a kind heart good moral background and a pleasE Her in every way and i know many many men that are full blown DOGS or DAWGS that have the most amazing women by their sides... How does the nice guy with hood tendencies and perfectionist ways get a trophy wife? I know the religionist answer tell me something i don't know...

Getting Grown

Life is an ongoing process
I've been through a lot
seen a lot drop
only the strong belong but they don't have long to live their lives
Leave a legacy
breed their pedigree
You gotta have soul
You gotta plant to grow
You gotta have more
You gotta grow where planted
All the while keeping in mind
Everything planted don't always grow but ya got to get old
You gotta do a lota so you might as well go learn a little mo
Keep a hand on a plan keep yea eyes on a prize
And ride this thing to the wheels fall off
but it feels all off cause the bills all off
The key to success is toleration to the things that you are face currently
We have to use our strength our faith and our will to survive
To keep all our dreams spiritually alive
Even when we die physically everybody remembers what we did

when we were fly

"getting grown"

A letter to my followers

To all 7 of my followers including myself i humbly bow my head in thanks for the opportunity to speak to you vent to you talk about you and just share my thought, feelings and creative adjustments in my mind... lol

Billion Dollar Dreams I'm sure that if you really wanna be a video girl that the Fly Guys would gladly have you in one of their videos for one of their Hot Tracks like "Keisha"... and I'm sure Myke B can pub the video and make the world know that it's what supposed to be listened too... and if that doesn't work I'm all most sure the beautiful voice of ?? (even though i can't leave a comment on her blog) or with the beautiful motherly guide from Stepfanie and support from Haley18 can lead help us all be blog-tastic.. lol

I thoroughly appreciate all of y'all for becoming followers of my blog and i hope you all follow each other thanks for listening or reading if you don't have that other voice like i do.

A few other blogs i suggest you check out are Alexis belon's "to whom it may concert" to me she's intriguing because she keeping it all the way real...she from the hood... with nothing and is surviving and she's easy on the eyes... Ummm, of course Leah La belle's "canvas" is another beautiful young woman showcasing her many talents.

Please feel free to comment on any or all my postings i get a kick out of seeing what other people think and feel after they read my writings.

Thanks sincerely

JAG

Yea,Well... Whatever

Yea, Well....Whatever

Do what you do but watch my shoes... ha ha... there's so so much i wanna say to you but you wouldn't understand even if you stood under it... it seems to you like I'm on some other shit but the truth of the matter I'm on some other shit.. I'm NOT ABOUT TO FAKE AND FRONT LIKE YOU THE SHIT when yous just another bitch... Hell... what do i look like stalking you and not going to the lake and fish... Yea yea yea... i know you love attention you can't get enough of it... you're shallow and the only thing we have is a sexual connection... You talk to much... I talk to little... you get on my nerves... i get on yours...You think I'm cold and heartless...You are cold and heartless... but on the other hand... man this is bullshit... i love the way you switch... You can't leave me now not in the middle of this... the source of my weakness is in Ur kiss... addicted to your ways of mischief and wits... You got me hooked now the fall is getting longer... my attraction is steady getting stronger... high is getting weaker... you got me acting like a geek er... smelling like a ten year old pair of ball sneaker... dazed and confused lost in the struggle... trying to hustle and bustle... i doubt you feel the same way about you ...cause you don't know... what you do... it's second nature to you... you do it easily... but you know what fuck that... Your not loving me the way i want you to so i had to run from you hit me with the 808 and save the heartbreak...

Snow fall....

OK so i have a deep disliking for the winter or better yet the snow even though it's so beautiful...and i have a few words that i would like to say about it....

Early this morning just the remains of a winter weather storm

travel to work was great even though with salt i was armed

sat down logged in and being my routine on the farm

pressed, starched, and slightly ironed

daydreams of dreams and summertime

senses keen to whats not seen

stand up to take a break

look out the peephole or what they call a window

torrential down pour

4 inches of snow

Out loud i scream Oh No!!!

Damn right I hate the snow

time for me to go

to the home stead

i head

with grace in the snow step out the car to walk to the house

Boom!!!

Ice hidden by snow almost busted my mouth

recovery was good no injuries slowly make my way

...in the house, on the floor, next to the fire place

watch the amazing race as the snow gets deep

and i pace...and i pace

waiting for

springs grace!!!

It seems like you meant this....

Well since gravity
didnt let you down i guess i did
what the phuck...you left me in the grey area hi,
i mean me looking for you
and you dazed, crazed, and without the why
are you high you cant drink our sorrows away
matter of fact the reason you have flem and fear is from that damn beer
I dont see why anyone wants to date you either.... but you're a good girlfriend
prolly the best i've ever had.... hahaha NOT
I know my sex is good
and in a few months you'll see nobody will lick you like i could
O so my moms is a bitch damn right the baddest bitch
but on the real you the bitch that why we aint shit
O so you sorry yea you sorry alright
That's the rest of this mess is just a plea of distress
I need not know you anymore yea we had
fun in the kitchen, in the bedroom on the floor
but im convinced you's a whore
and i raise my voice cause you don't listen maybe Baby face
was right i should have nothing else to say
you can be on the team but you may not play
suck it up
or be tough as you say....

3L Kronical Love, Lust, and Life

Let me paint a picture… club scene nice (me) up against last booth in the rounded room… light flickering, music thumping… the perfect atmosphere for an appearance… The DJ spinning jams worthy of dancing to and then she walks by beauty in slow motion… the only thing that comes out my mouth is "Hey, Ms. Williams"( what was I thinking) … and as usual she turns looks and keeps on walking… but it's ok this time I don't take it personal… as the night moves on and a few more drinks in her system she loosens up and starts to groove a little… all the while Im fighting off a white coworker in her whore outfit trying to rub up on me… wow, leave me alone "it's too hot" as I end that phrase the song comes on "I know you see it" I glance over and Ms. Williams as I make my way towards her making hand motions to dance or two step… she is three steps away and…. boom they stand up and the dance floor immediately gets crowded…attempt number one ruined. But it's ok. The two and a half hours in the club seems like a year. She grooved most of the night going under the radar, absolute unbothered by the battling dancer guys standing in front of her booth. Every time I thought the moment was right for a dance she sat down or something random would happen so mission 2 and 3 ruin by interference… ok the night is over she still looks stellar at the end of a long club night… she leaves… by this time her red semi open toed heels are bothering her …as she leaves she throws her phone to her ear as to divert all the on coming attempt to pick her up …not really working she walks fast and keeps her head on a swivel walks pass police to an empty parking lot alone, not safe for a beautiful young lady of her stature but she did it none the less, as the silver Jaguar on twenties passes.. .a subtle comment of be good girl comes out of the window. Ok, thank you she says watching the Jag drive away not noticing some drunk guy speed walking towards her, he walked right up in her personal space asking "where's your man?" unaware of what she said I cross the street to make sure everything was ok. I stood watching from a distance as her hands went up in fear but when he started walking away, I realized she was ok but he just ruined my chances to get a word with Ms. Williams so I chalked it up got in the car and went home…