So whats up? KIR!!!!

I don't understand why you insist on texting me telling me how much you hate me... and how much the new guy is the best thing for you and how much stronger you are because of me... i understand it's been a while since u probably had a REAL good dick'em down(yeah i said it) or you miss me and you can't get me off your mind but Damn B!%&$ you know good and damn well we weren't meant to be... our ship was sailed on a lie and it sunk immediately after you came clean and being the gentleman i am i tried to forgive you but just like the little girl you were before the lie came out the little girl you stayed... So whats up for real??? Why do you insist on trying to torment me if your so happy and your so blessed. You've told me i was lame but what is lame is that u cant get over i couldn't be with a liar who tried to sabotage my life by being selfish... but don't get me wrong i forgave u i even loved u unconditionally... what more can i say??? I just don't get it I'm happy Ur happy and wish you the best, peace, and blessing in our parting but when u think about me or speak to me you don't see or say anything good after all we went through there lies the problem and that problem ain't with me... and my final words to you are GET REAL... KEEP IT REAL... GET RIGHT... KEEP IT RIGHT... AND KNOW THYSELF AIGHT!!! PS. respect is of the highest order and it's earned not giving.

Wednesdays WAR

As i wake up refreshed from a amazing nights sleep i realize my mind is still in dream mode, it's not like that daze you fall into when you are day dreaming this was a full on dream while i was wide awake... So my man's morning starts like this... Yawn! Hit the Alarm! Wipe the sleep from ones eyes... sit up... say morning prayer... I sleep naked so grab the Raphael Lauren man towel with Velcro around the waist... stand up stretch... and proceed to the bathroom... once in the bathroom fight with morning wood to aim and shoot... about what seems like ten minutes later shake and flush... Two steps to the right.... mirror... Aw you look amazing sarcasm to self... wash hands... splash face warm water...get the neutrogena left corner of the sink proceed to wash face... 2-5 minutes later dab face dry... grab toothbrush right corner of the sink in metallic holder... always pre brush teeth this is just a water brush to get all the nightly flavors out... then add tooth paste normally it's a wintry mint plus white with cavity control...5 minutes later rinse and spit.... mirror... Now that's what I'm talking about... proceed to dresser grab under garments I don't own tightie whiteys so boxers or boxer briefs if I'm feeling myself...socks and wife beater( A-shirt) check... proceed to closet... clothes are preplanned 3 fits ready and ironed so no time is wasted in the morning... if attitude is different in the morning clothes are different... mirror... o yeah big cheesy smile if I'm feeling myself... if not just a wassup head nod...

But this morning was different... it kind of went like this... french horns in the distance... morning sir(British accent) the CEO of my company says to me... Morning.. he claps...clap clap... and all of a sudden Jillz, Sydni, Mich and Kat come out of nowhere to escort me to the bathroom... O wow...proceed...man towel applied "no hands"... clap clap... shake and flush "no hands"... this time i took a shower in the morning which i rarely do but... clap clap... the royal penis is clean your highness...Um WOW that was refreshing... clothes applied now no hands... kisses, humps, and hugs thank you ladies i greatly appre..ciate... check mirror... and then

snapped out of it back to reality... smh...UM... Wednesdays war... dreaming about these ladies so not cool... sorry ladies but Jamie said blame it on the alcohol sooooo let's just forget about this:
WEDNESDAYS WAR

Forgettable

So i was in wally world(Walmart) yesterday I was of course picking up groceries and household items all at once... And I'm walking through the dairy aisle grabbed some milk for my cereal and shredded cheese for my baked potato that night.... and i saw this women that looked so familiar... she was at the other end of the aisle so i really couldn't tell if it was her or not but as we got closer i realized it was...(pay attention now)... The mom of my hairdresser (when i had hair) who claimed i was her baby's daddy (who still owes me money for the paternity test i took) but I'm not worried about it. eh!

And we walk right by each other like i could have kiss her on the cheek and kept walking that's how close. This is the same woman that wanted me to be her grand daughters father she literally said i love you and want you to be the father... wow i know. So we walk past each other and she doesn't say a word so i say Hey! very subtle to see if she notice and she looks up and stares at me for like 45 sec she squinting her eyes and everything.. then she says "I didn't know who you were"... OMG come on now i haven't changed since i was in third grade my head just grew into my ears and my body developed nicely...

I said that to say this
Do you think your FORGETTABLE?
because i didn't think i was until yesterday.
I actually still don't think I'm forgettable i might be replaceable but not forgettable.

The White Dress!!!

Thanks to Tawny's photo shoot i had and ideal...
http://intricatelyt.blogspot.com/
Running out of gas was the least of my worries this morning. As i walk up this long whined road i see someone coming my way. "She" amazing stood short in statue but tall in beauty and elegance. Her no shooed walk convinced me, she had confidence. The closer we got the easier it was to see her confidence the glow she had made me smile. The gas can seemed to get heavy as we past one another. " Hi" was all i could say knowing deep down i needed to find a gas station. With a sweet melodic voice she says "Hello" I damn near melted as the dimples showed in her cheeks as she smiled at me. I quickly turn away attempting not to stare and continue on my walk of shame. When i turned back for the last time i noticed she was looking back at me i tipped my hat slightly, with a wavy of her hand the angel with the white dress on disappeared. Damn!

Dance of Love

the silouette of her body was all i could see
standing at the end of the hallway what could it be
that runs through her mind i hope its something good
the rain hitting the window seal where she stood
tapped a beautiful melodic soothing sound
that only the focused mind understood
it sung it's way into my heart
as i wrapped my arm around her
this is the part where i am
embrassing her making her know im there
she turned and kiss my cheek
subtle and sweet
we began to sway
as the rain drops on the window like tears made there way
a loving embrass is all she needs
to continue the dance of love
no lead

My Love... the Conscious of a broke heart

As the love spills from my heart

the water that once filled my eyes slowly moves apart

down my cheeks and graciously past my lips

the conscious flashing broken clips

No ideal he would miss her this much

the tenderness of her touch

the love in her eyes and such...

sweetness in her moan

how when he kissed her she was immediately turned on

on and on like Erka badu maybe next lifetime

maybe this just wasn't our time

maybe this is all a dream for him to share with you

shew!!!

from a bad ass dream to a bad ass day

how would you feel diagnosed ill today
in the middle of time he's facing the ground

pressure push positive to the back of spine

his conscious outlined in nonsense

life has no rewind

nonsense

he's pass the hate and all the greed
facing the man mirror look at me

hold ya head still

look at he reborn

life is real

barely willed to keep it real

bad ass dream

yup for real

Is it you?

LOOK!!!
I told the masses before I Am Not Perfect!
I make mistakes everyone does
I guess Im not that guy you thought I was
Were back to the beginning
Back to the beginning of the end
We all know Im defensive but thats not a sin
I am constantly fighting a battle I can not win
But then again
Nope
I will not win
But
She knows I care
She knows the truth
Matter of fact she knows who she is
She knows who
Automatically she thinks
Is he talk bout me
Yep
Im talking to you
About you
For you
if your not she
then you'll know
SEE!!!



it's YOU.

Dreaming the Conclusion

Fuck it i know but i cant help fuck it is the only phrase that fits logically...
i have to suck it up...
i must not mess this up...
but what if she...
never mind the extra...
i think this could be...
well how can that...
you know what...
i cant keep...
it's making me...
but what if she doesn't...
then I'll be..
Well shit damn it to hell... fuck it this is it...
I fell in love with "she"...
it didn't work out because of me...
my stipulation were far to deep...
and that was the end of we...
dream ended.

It's complicated

WhY make it so complicated
i just wish i would have never ate it
you can't get over that if you say you hate it
well hold your breath cause i think we made it....

I've come to realize happiness is not about ME... POINT MADE!!!
but my relationship road as you've all prolly read in my previous to blogs has been a bumpy rollercoaster not smooth at all no matter how soft my leather was the engine still ended up burning out.
My real reason for writing is i need to release my sickness... i am a nice guy(contrary to popular belief) but i have hood tendencies... I groomed myself that way to eliminate the pain i had the first time i was hurt from happening again. My good guy makes women love me and fall in love with me but my bad boy wants to take advantage of that...(sidebar)like in most cartoon like movies i have the angel and devils advocate on my shoulders... so picture the lil guy dressed in white and a lil guy dressed in red on my shoulders... Angel" she a good girl do right by her" Dadvocate f**** that she's wants to much it's about you"
...Anyway back to reality, Women have two men at all times, i once heard a wise women say, "the one that shes in love with and the one that loves her or takes care of her." For most of her life it's her dad( if he's present) and the man of her dreams at the time (day to day)
But guys on the other hand dont have a standard too... i like to call this Polywomenistic- meaning there are a lot of women who effect the lives of a man. wheither its his first grade teacher or his auntie telling him women are bad influences or his moms saying dont go sticking ya thing into anything with two legs.
You See by the time guys get into girl theres a mix perception so figuring out how to act towards women is hard( even if you had full family) cause women are complicated (period WITH A PERIOD)... any debate takers?